Acland Street, St Kilda in Melbourne, Victoria is famous for it’s cakes. Alongside the myriad café’s and expensive boutiques you will find the tantalising array of spectacular cakes and pastries arranged in the windows of various gourmet cake shops like the crown jewels of the bakery world. The biggest hurdle is choosing which cake shop to try. The second biggest is deciding on which cake. Or cakes.
The best-disciplined dieter would be reduced to tears by the selection. Against their will, they will find themselves slowing, slowing, and stopping as they try and fail to walk past the windows with averted eyes. Their feet will turn them back, through the doors of the shop.
Before they know it, they will be seated at a table with an empty plate, licking their fingers and trying to pick up the last of the crumbs.
With the special occasion of my father visiting me from interstate, where my family lives (I abandoned my home state for the wonderful life in Melbourne) I have thrown caution to the wind as far as healthy eating is concerned and dived into a wonderful week of eating out, treats, cakes and fantastic Melbourne coffee on a daily basis. I have not enjoyed food so much since I started my new ‘healthy’ plan (and successfully dropped 15 kilos and several sizes, thank you very much) and nor am I likely to enjoy such indulgence for some time once my dad goes home. I’m sure I will pay dearly for my indulgence in torturous gym sessions and normal, un-palate-stimulating food. But while his visit continues, we have taken tremendous delight in sampling the delightful food Melbourne has to offer. For fun, we have made a little tradition of trying Melting Moments cookies from about 9 different cafes as we travel around Melbourne and surrounds. We have rated each cookie and there will soon be a blog entry on our findings. This in itself has been a delicious and rewarding experiment.
But, back to Acland Street and it’s wonderful cake shops – an experience which has merited a blog entry of it’s own.
Joined by my best friend, Miss V, Dad and I headed for Acland St for coffee and cake and to check out the Sunday Arts Market that meanders along the beachfront area nearby. After scoping out a few cake shops, we decided to try Monarch Cakes.
May I take this moment to say that there is something to be said for trying things twice, because my initial selection did nothing to recommend me to this particular place. I ordered a Vanilla Slice – a choice that in retrospect was rather stupid considering I had the opportunity to try a range of spectacular cakes and instead chose one of the most basic and mainstream cakes possible, available in just about any bakery anywhere. I happen to love Vanilla Slice, but I judge myself in this instance for deciding to be safe and boring when I could have treated my palate to something amazing.
In any case, Miss V and Dad ordered a cake labelled as ‘Our Famous Plum Cake’. The title itself suggested a culinary experience to be remembered.
Sipping coffee, which, by the way, was very good considering that I expected the shop to excel in their cakes but be rather average in their beverages – I took my first spoonful of my Vanilla Slice.
The custard both looked and tasted gelatinous and lumpy. The taste was that of reduced fat, reduced sugar custard – you know the tasteless crap you get in the long-life milk section of thee supermarket? Yep. Crap. I didn’t even finish it. Each spoonful tasted of disappointment and…well, not much else. It was, I am sad to say, the very worst Vanilla Slice I have ever tried. It did shame to the Acland Street name.
Meanwhile, however, Miss V and Dad were mmmming and aaaaahing over their Famous Plum Cake. With every bite, they extolled the wonderful taste experience they were having as I waded through my selection. I don’t think either of them took a bite without saying just how delicious it was each time or indicating it with a hearty ‘mmmmmmm!’
However, I decided not to pass judgement on the cake shop based on their Vanilla Slice, and decided to share another slice of the Famous Plum Cake with Dad.
The first forkful made up in abundance for that awful slice.
The cake was light, soft with only slight, perfectly balanced sweetness. The plum was phenomenal, without a hint of tartness and yet again with that balanced, gentle sweetness. It tasted like plum. This may sound like a stupid statement considering it was a Plum Cake but I can tell you I have ordered many a cake claiming to contain some fruit or another which has not tasted in the least like it. Rather, I am often served some artificial filling, which contains perhaps 5% actual fruit.
Not so with this Plum Cake. Every bit was real plum, perfectly prepared and complimented in every way by the soft, light cake.
I found out on leaving the shop that they in fact are well known for using all-natural ingredients and not using anything artificial in the preparation of their cakes. This ma account for why their custard was lousy but the plum cake was something worth travelling to Acland Street just to try. Fantastic. Delicious, and well deserving of it’s title of Famous Plum Cake. If I tasted as good as that cake, I would be famous too.
And yet, this cake was not the most delicious treat of the day.
We continued down Acland Street and made our way up to the Markets, where we spent a lovely hour or so browsing. Miss V left us at this point and Dad and I meandered along the stalls, stopping to look at some of the lovely local handmade products and to buy some handmade gold wire rings.
As we headed back along Acland Street toward the car, I suggested that we try an Acland Street Melting Moment cookie and add it to our list. We soon spotted one cake shop with Melting Moments in the window and I stepped in to buy a few.
We sat down and each bit into a cookie, expecting to have our tastebuds tickled by the best Melting Moments in Melbourne…
And our tastebuds cried out in protest as the WORST Melting Moments in Melbourne assaulted them!
The cookie was overly sweet with a texture that was far from melting in your mouth. The filling was, for some reason, lemon flavoured and sickly sweet. The cookie part was burnt and crumbled in a distasteful rather than enjoyable manner.
So far the Melting Moments we have tried have scored mostly 7/10, with one scoring an 8 and one particularly poor one scoring a 6.
This Acland Street Melting Moment barely made a 5.
So utterly disappointing! In a street known for it’s cakes, I was crushed that we found a Melting Moment that rather than topping our biscuit-sampling adventure, came in rock bottom.
On our way back to the car, disappointed by our Melting Moment letdown, we passed Monarch Cakes again. In the window, their Cherry Crumble grabbed my gaze and called out to me, willing me to eat it. I remarked to Dad how delicious it looked and he suggested sharing a piece. I did not need convincing.
We sat down outside and I dug my fork into the slice.
Ooooooh….my…..
Oh….WOW…
That slice…
HEAVEN IN A CAKE
THE BEST CAKE…EVER!!!!
Never, in my entire life, have I put into my mouth a cake that tasted anywhere near as good as that Cherry Crumble.
Oh, the taste…oh, the joy…
The cherry was…unbelievable. Indescribable. It tasted…so wonderfully cherry!!! The slice filling was pure cherries, perfectly balanced between sweetness and tartness. The taste was something I cannot even do justice to with words. I wanted to cry with sheer joy. I wanted to marry that slice. I wanted to run down Acland Street holding it aloft and screaming that I had found the true definition of delicious. I even went back into the store before leaving to announce very loudly to all and sundry that it was the best cake I had ever tasted in my life. At least, I directed my comment at the staff but made sure it was loud enough to reach everyone in the store. If you know me, you will know that this is not difficult for me to do. Seriously, though, if anyone who reads this lives anywhere near Acland Street, or if it is within your power to go there, you must absolutely try this Cherry Crumble.
That wonderful Cherry Crumble has placed Monarch Cakes firmly into my list of places I take friends and family from interstate. Since I moved here, I have made a point of choosing the very best places for coffee, cake, treats and eating out. So far, Glenhuntly Road in Elsternwick has provided the most destinations for culinary delights. I firmly maintain that the best Coffee in Melbourne is from Loco, closely followed by Artful Dodger. The best Iced Chocolate (and Iced Mocha, for that matter) in Melbourne – or in Australia, as far as I am concerned, is from Capri Fine Chocolates. Seriously. I have had Iced Chocolate from Max Brenner that didn’t even come close. The best Indian food in Melbourne is Rich Curry Indian Cuisine (the Butter Chicken is an unparalleled taste experience, and the Lamb Saag is my all-time favourite dish.) All of these places – Loco, Artful Dodger, Capri and Rich Curry sit on the wonderful stretch of tarmac that is Glenhuntly Road. A horrible road to drive down with the trams, heavy traffic, idiots that try to reverse parallel park and fail repeatedly and even bigger idiots who try to do U turns or cycle alongside parked cars and moving trams – all of these things pale into insignificance against the wonderful cafes and restaurants that cause a large portion of the traffic to be there in the first place.
Back to the Cherry Crumble and Monarch cakes – (I must apologise for my frequent and detailed deviation from the topic, and warn all of my readers that I do this on a regular basis…where was I?...Oh, yes, Monarch Cakes and their Cherry Crumble)…ahem– this has been added to my list and provides an unusual deviation from the Glenhuntly Road cafés and eateries I frequent. Guests from interstate will henceforth be whipped down to Acland Street and parked at a table in Monarch Cakes. All protests that they want to try something else from the window will be overridden as I order the Cherry Crumble on their behalf. And I shall triumph in their expression of joy and wonder as they take that first delicious, delectable and delightful mouthful…and join me in the chorus of MMMMMMMMMMMM’s.
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